Smile
by toreax
Summary: Kurt always knew he was a freak. And when his worst nightmare repeats, he isn't too surprised it happened. He isn't sure he will be able to smile much after.


Kurt always knew he was a freak, a monstrosity, an accident. All the way from his paw-like feet to his fangs, three fingered hands and pointed ears, he knew he was different. He was blue and furry, had glowing yellow eyes and a spaded tail. While all the other mutants had powers, as did he, he ended up with added physical mutations that made him look like a demon, a _monster_.

He learned at a young age that he was very different from all the other children. He learned that he was very different from all the other people, _humans_, in the world. He grew up in a village in Germany with his foster mother and father that accepted him for who he was and _what_ he was. They loved and cared for him like any other normal parent would do to any other normal child.

Others couldn't accept the fact that he was also a human being.

Sure, he had a different appearance, but he was still human. It wasn't like he was half animal, even though he looked like it. He had an advanced X gene like other mutants, but his looks had been altered ever since he was born. He had always looked like a monster. He couldn't help it, this is how he looks.

He quickly grasped the concept of hiding. He had to hide from all the other villagers if he wanted to stay alive. He didn't get to go to school, or shopping, or even leave the house besides going out far in the field they considered the backyard and sometimes into the woods when no one was out hiking. Oh, how he wanted to go to places like all the other kids. He wanted to have friends so he could invite them over and talk about things normal children talk about. He wanted to go out to eat with his family. He wanted to do the boring homework he had heard about. He just wanted to _look _normal.

But, he couldn't.

Because being blue and furry meant you weren't allowed to be free.

And then came the night where he was discovered.

He had been curious with all the sounds coming from the middle of the village. His foster mother had always told him stories of fun events that were held there. Children and adults would dance together, laughing and skipping. There would be no limited amount of food for everyone to eat and share. People would smile and celebrate the multiple holidays.

He was so curious.

And that was why he snuck out.

Just one villager saw him and everything broke into chaos. Riots formed, mobs came together, pitchforks and sharp, wooden sticks and shovels were pointed straight at him. Chants echoed throughout his ears and insults were spat as he ran as fast as he could.

_Demon._

_Freak._

_Hell-spawn._

He remembered everything as if it was yesterday.

And they caught him. They beat him into a bloody pulp. He couldn't move, could barely breathe. He only curled up into a ball, wheezing while the blows rained down upon him.

And then they tied his wrists, then his ankles. He thrashed and used all the strength he could as he tried to get out of their vice like grips.

They dragged him out into the woods and proceeded to tie him to a stake. They wasted no time in gathering wood and setting the fire beneath him. He could still remember the flames licking at his legs and his screams of terror. He remembered how horrified as he smelled burnt flesh and coughing, gasping for breath, but couldn't find any. Only overwhelming smoke continued to fill his lungs. The villagers stood around, screeching for the fire to grow bigger, to burn him into absolute nothingness.

He had teleported away.

It was the first time he teleported and he luckily landed in his home. His foster mother and father had run to him, worried. His mother had screamed and his father could only scoop his battered body into his arms and tend to his fatal wounds.

He was twelve years old.

He was fifteen when he met the X-men.

Professor Xavier had detected him on Cerebro when he was using his powers in a panic, frantically trying to run away from more villagers that only wanted to repeat the same torture he endured three years before that. He had been beat up, but was running out of pure adrenaline.

Professor Xavier saved him.

And if he needed to give his life in order to save the Professor, he would do it without a moment of hesitance.

And as he became closer to the X-men, he knew he would do the same to them. They were his best friends, his family outside of his foster parents that stilled lived in Germany. He would killed or be killed to protect the X-men.

Of course, only the Professor and Logan knew of Kurt's past. He had told them most of it while Xavier went into Kurt's mind, with his consent, of course.

Kurt made them promise they wouldn't tell any of his friends. Not only was it his story to tell, he also didn't need their pity. They had all grown up with normal lives while he hadn't. He didn't get to do things they got to do, even if they had lost loved ones or had been hurt. They, truly, couldn't begin to compare what Kurt had gone through when he was a child.

He didn't want to tell them, and wasn't planning to.

Of course, his friends made a fuss about not knowing anything about his past and what went on before he came to live at the Institute. He just brushed them off, made a joke and put on his fake smile. He didn't even tell Kitty, who had been the most suspicious about his childhood. And there was the fact that she was a big love interest for him.

And then, mutants were discovered. It had been an accident of course. The fight in the middle of the city had to be out in the open no matter what. They couldn't change the location or their existence.

To the mutants at the Institute, it had been Hell once the whole world found out about them.

But Kurt knew they didn't know what true Hell was.

So when the torture, his worst nightmare, had been repeated sometime after everyone knowing about them, he wasn't that surprised. He wasn't too shocked. He knew it could be a possibility, even when not many people did the whole burning at the stake ritual thing.

He had finally become comfortable with walking around in public as his blue, furry self. He had been cornered into an alley and beaten up. Even though he had mastered his power of teleporting, he couldn't concentrate enough to do so. His mind wasn't processing what was happening. His head was occupied with the flashing images of being burned at the stake.

Once again, he was dragged to an unknown location. He couldn't tell if it was the woods or a building or anything. He could feel people wrapping his hands and feet around the stake. They gagged him. They had started the fire.

The X-men had burst in and practically crushed his kidnappers. Jean had used her telekinesis to lift him up and untie him.

Kurt didn't let anything touch him. He only laid on the ground, curled in a ball, motionless, silent. He didn't let any emotions cross his mind as the images continued to flash through his mind. His body started to shake, but he didn't cry. He didn't show any feeling. He had only laid there until the Professor had come and carried him back to the Institute himself.

He had escaped a second time, but he wasn't sure how much he could smile this time.

**I think this is the first X-men fic I've written. It was really fun, actually, even though there were some serious feels. Anyways, I had another multi-chapter fic idea that will be like this. We will see if I get the time and actually mental effort to write it up and share it. We will see… Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think!**

**P.S. This is based off of X-men: Evolution.**


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